Uninspired — Embracing it
uninspired: /ʌnɪnˈspʌɪəd/
adjective
dull or ordinary; unimaginative; not inspired; lacking spirit, creativity, zest, etc.
That’s the word! I never expected that despite it being 1st of the month today, I would feel uninspired. For a person like me, 1st of the month is a highly exciting time. Changing the page on the calendar, a fresh monthly journal spread and mentally exploring all possibilities in a brand new month — these are undoubtedly the small joys of my life.
Today when I turned the pages, I did not feel that joy. I was gifted a set of pastel Kaco Macaron Gel pens last week — a month ago, this would have fuelled my writing for months. When brand new stationery cannot create a sense of joy, I know something is wrong.
I don’t know if something is wrong. I have no complaints — a career of choice, good food, great family, a cozy home and yet as I write this, there is an uninspired feeling. Maybe it’s recovering from Covid. For me, it wasn’t a mild cold, cough and fever, as most are making it out to be. It was extremely high fever along with a throat pain like never before. A lost sense of taste and exhaustion, which still continues. The taste has come back, but the zest is missing. Maybe it’s this dusty hue across the sky with muted sunlight that’s adding to this dull mood.
The question is, what should one do in such a phase? As I wrote this question, it answered itself. Stop dwelling on the should and simply be where you are. I will not rush myself out of this uninspired feeling. I will embrace it and just experience whatever it has to show me, tell me, teach me. Maybe it’s nothing, maybe it’s something I don’t know.
The only thought that comes to my mind is cricketing term “occupancy at the crease” — There is no guarantee that I will score big but I improve the probability of something happening.
Is this too short a piece to publish? Is it boring? Is it interesting? I don’t know and I can’t take the pressure to write to impress anyone. Circling back to practice for the year — Social media is going to be for personal expression.
Such is the writing today. I don’t know how to bring this piece to a conclusion, but as I sign off, all I can say is I am present to this very moment and maybe that’s all that is required of me for today.
